The Arguments

Do you and your medical partner argue more?

“Every relationship has arguments.”

Tracey’s View: During the beginning phases of our relationship, everything was rosy and sweet, but when residency got in the way, things turned quickly the other way. 

Jake’s View: When you are in a Residency Program, most days you are exhausted. As I can’t personally speak for those in other specialties (except General Surgery), the amount of work you have to do and a load of information you have to learn never ends. It’s about patient-care and loving what you do. While it’s not supposed to be like this, it’s a reality you have to face. When you get home, there are a 100 more things for you to do, but in reality, you don’t have the time, so it creates tension. When tension and exhaustion intertwin, arguments are created. 


We argued a ton after Jake started his Residency because everything started to add up: never being home, I’m doing everything, he was always on the phone, etc.

TIP: It’s okay to argue, but arguing way too much about something you cannot change will not make your relationship succeed. Being patient, and thinking before speaking, because when you get mad, the worst comes out. Sometimes the best solution is to know when to bite your tongue and walk away. After time cools down, think about the matter thoroughly. If you are the one in Residency, then you are probably tired and have a ton of things to do before bedtime, so knowing what your partner needs is key to making the relationship succeed. Being selfish will only make the relationship end.


Do you and your partner (who is a medical professional) have a ton of arguments since they started Residency? I love to hear your stories, and if you have tips/advice!

Leave a comment below!