“You are attractive, smart, and kind.” – The words physicians hear every day.
Tracey’s View: I’ll be frank with you, at times you will feel like your partner is not devoting enough time to you and this will cause arguments in your relationship. You are constantly worrying (at first) because he’s rarely home and when he’s home, has little to no time to spare. You see him on the phone when he’s at home, and your mind may wonder who is on the receiving end. You look at his phone, and it leads to more suspicion. The first thing your mind jumps to is cheating. In the beginning phases of your relationship, you have little to no fear of cheating, but when your relationship becomes comfortable, and you realize he’s rarely home, your mind starts to wonder. It will beat you down and get the best of you. This is when independence and trust come in. Knowing that you are happy, and he is happy, and you both can trust each other then there should be no worrying. At a point in your relationship, you will need to trust your gut.
Jake’s View: In the medical field, you are in the hospital more than you are at home. Your colleagues become closer than you ever thought in a short time. It is common to see relationships develop unexpectedly, you hear gossipy stories about residents and attendings (picture Grey’s Anatomy), and good people cheat on their partners.
REAL AS IT GETS
Keep in mind, based on this study, surgeons married to non-physicians are able to balance their personal and professional life more successfully.
It can be hard at times especially when your partner tells you, he gets hit on every day by patients, co-residents, nurses, etc. The thoughts of ‘Grey’s Anatomy call-room” scenes happening while you’re at home sucks. That should be your queue to open a bottle of wine.
Tip: Things get messy fast. People make mistakes in high-stress environments. Sometimes relationships end. We have been lucky because Jake and I talk to each other. Trust and communication are the only defense measures.
Are you feeling insecure because your partner is a medical professional and not devoting enough time since they started Residency? I love to hear your stories, and if you have tips/advice!
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